46 - Saturday, July 22, 2006

(I've been trying to make this post since Monday, but I've been having trouble loading some photos. I just decided to make the post minus the pictures...)

Saturday, after mowing, Emily and I went to a double feature. We saw "Lady in the Water" and "My Super Ex-Girlfriend." Em liked the former better: I, the latter.

After dropping Emily off, I went home to dress for my date with David. It was our one-month anniversary, so I was treating him to a musical, and he was treating me to supper. He chose Le Chardonnay at Overton Square (next door to the Playhouse on the Square) for dinner. Needless to say, but the food was outstanding...especially the escargot!

After supper we walked next door to see "Urinetown." It was FABULOUS!!! The gospel selection alone was worth every dime of the admission price!

David had one request: he didn't want to be peed on. I assured him that he didn't have to worry--even though we sat on the second row center. How was I supposed to know that we would be splattered with urine?!? But I made up for the shock of the wetness by introducing him to one of my co-workers as my "boyfriend" (another big step for me) and grabbing his hand as we strolled back to the parking lot in Midtown Memphis!!!

In the gallery of the theatre was an exhibit of artwork by a guy named Michael P. Maness. He's from Southaven--a Mississippi surburb of Memphis--and I adore his work. Lots of color and emotion. (Some of his originals had been displayed at the Orpheum earlier this year.)

I decided on a whim to see if I could commission him to do a painting of me at a concert grand with my cat Maria on a sea of flowers. I emailed my request and was shocked when he agreed!

I found out through our email exchanges that he is recovering from chemotherapy right now and will have a six-month "rest" before his next round of chemo begins. Knowing he's not well makes me want the painting even more than before.

If you like Mike's work, shoot him an email and let him know...

BOB

45 - Born Gay

Okay...so I haven't posted in a long time. It's been both rough and wonderful these last several weeks.

I met a special man who receives much of my spare time.

I'm working three jobs. (Did I say I had spare time?)

My air conditioning went out a week ago so chores like drying clothes and mowing the lawn had to be postponed, but...

... my dad had a heart attack on Sunday; therefore, I was out of town through Monday night and didn't resume household duties until Tuesday.

(By the way, Daddy had three stents and is doing well. And, yes, I do call him Daddy, not Dad: it's a Southern thing...)

Anyway...my friend Ann just sent me this link: http://www.borndifferent.org. It was so powerful that I had to share it with you. Turn up your volume and enjoy!

44 - Ambien? BEWARE!!!

I was reminded a couple of days ago about my reaction to Ambien while I was attempting to be ex-gay.

I had signed up with the Christian-based e-harmony.com to find "the girl of my dreams." (Well, maybe the girl of my daydreams...Night dreams were still greatly influenced by beautiful men...)

Because of some drug reactions, sinus congestion, apnea, and other factors, I had developed a case of insomnia. My doctor prescribed Ambien.

I couldn't really tell that I was any less tired when I was taking the medicine, but I took it nonetheless.

The girl I met, Rachel, was a nurse, and she "needed" a call from me each day. I am not a telephone person, but I determined that with the relationship being long-distance that I owed her this expression of my selflessness.

I shared with her that I still felt wiped out each day so she recommended that I take the Ambien before I called her each night so that I would be ready to hit the bed after our conversations. Big mistake!

The first night I took Rachel's advice I ingested the medicine about 10:00 p.m. I then called her about 10:15. I only remember saying goodbye to her about 10:45...

The next day she was mortified by our conversation. I apologized, but she was so upset she wouldn't share with me what I said, and I honestly couldn't remember the topics of discussion and still, to this day, have no recollection of what I said.

Finally, after weeks of begging on my end, she revealed that I called and hung up on her three times in that 45-minute period AND that I shared detailed homosexual fantasies with her. (At that time, I had not ever had sex with a man or a woman...so fantasies were all I had.)

I stopped the Ambien immediately. Later on, I spoke to other friends--some in the medical profession-who had had similar experiences. Yet, my doctor still offers Ambien yearly as an alternative to my sleepless episodes.

The best part of this story is this: now that I'm "ex-ex-gay," I realize that when I'm not able to "choose" heterosexuality, my homosexuality is an unconscious part of the real me. I don't choose to be gay: I just am. For that epiphany, I thank you, Ambien...

Otherwise, my advice is to flush the Ambien you have and/or to avoid future presciptions! It's not worth the fear of not knowing your actions and reactions...

43 - Queer Bush

Okay...don't tell me that Mr. Bush's glance isn't a little bit...uh, well...gay...

Today the President and Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi are in Memphis for Graceland and the Rendezvous, and I just had to post this very intimate photo from CNN with the caption:

"President Bush and Japanese Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi have a particularly close relationship."

Hmmm..."close"...very interesting...

42 - Vacation in Gulf Shores, AL

My mom, dad, sister, nieces and I went to Gulf Shores, AL,

a week ago and stayed a few days on the Gulf of Mexico.

We stayed at the Island Shores Condominiums.

The beach was pristine every single day!

The first edifice we noticed with hurricane damage (Ivan struck in 2004; Dennis last year) was the pier. As you can see, vast sections are now missing.

Locals told us that the most stolen item during the days following the hurricanes was sand! The National Guard forced looters to return the sand to the areas from which it was taken.

I awoke early Tuesday morning to a wonderful surprise. A school of dophins was playing in the water opposite our condo balcony. What a sight to see those six to ten animals frolicking in the Gulf!

But the most amazing sight I saw was Tuesday morning's shadow on a clear day! About 10 feet into the water was a dark 20-ft. wide shadow that meandered along the beach as far east and west as the eye could see. When I got into the water, I realized that it was millions of three-inch long minnows migrating west in the morning and east that same afternoon! It was like parting the Red Sea everytime I took a step.

The seagulls would squawk at the fish, startling them. The fish would then flip like silver dollars a few inches out of the water to provide the birds with a meal.

Souvenir City was celebrating its fiftieth year on the beach this summer. (You enter through the shark's mouth.) I enjoyed seeing photos that detailed the devastation brought on by Hurricane Ivan.

This is a photo that represents the lashing taken from Ivan.

Another Gulf Shores staple--the Original Oyster House--also had a high water mark...four feet high on the bar...on the second floor! I enjoyed eating there my last night. I had their famous gumbo (made fresh daily), a dozen raw oysters, fried shrimp, stuffed fish, baked potato with sour cream, slaw and sweet tea. Yum-yum!!!

41 - Donnie Moore: A Requiem

I first saw Donnie when he entered our tiny school as an elementary student, but it was my joy to be able to teach Donnie after I returned from college as an eleventh- and twelfth-grade English instructor.

Donnie was a pint-sized tornado. Loveable, but sassy. Mischievous, but loyal.

He had Italian blood--dark complexioned and dark hair--and a beautiful face. Of course, by the time he was a Senior, his teeth were terribly discolored from the many "smokes" he afforded himself daily. Still, there was a boyish cuteness that made him attractive--even when he wasn't happy.

He began his senior year in 1994 and graduated in 1996. Yes, he was too smart to stay in school so he quit during his first senior year. I was surprised (and secretly elated) that Donnie showed up in the fall of 1995 to finish his requirements for a diploma.

Donnie was an orphan of sorts. His mom, from what was gossipped around town, had lived with a man in our little town for a short time and then, on a whim, left not only her boyfriend but her son for someone else. Donnie was raised by a local mechanic whose only connection to the boy was the fact that he had been Donnie's mother's lover at some time in the past.

Donnie had more talent for drawing in his little finger than I have in my whole body. I wanted to make a photo of his Beowulf poster that I kept from his senior year to share on the blog, but that didn't work out. Believe me though: you'd be impressed!

I lost track of Donnie after he graduated. The next word I had from him came in 2001--June 24, 2001, to be exact. I found out that he had gotten married and that he and his wife had a beautiful baby girl.

I also found out that Donnie had hung himself.

I was so grieved. This kid--that most teachers and fellow classmates had shunned--was one of the highlights of my 1995-1996 school year. And now he was dead.

From that sadness, I created an elegy to commemorate his life. I hope you enjoy...



Donnie Moore, a desert blossom,
Spent his life alone, rejected.

Growing ‘mong the thorns and thistles,
Never any hope—neglected.

Burning sun, the heat intense,
Donnie’s bud so unexpected.

I caught a glimpse while passing by,
Beauty pulsing, unsuspected.

Cradled gently in my hands,
The head of one no need dejected.

Held him up for all to see—
But no one came; not one inspected.

Fertilized by one lone tear,
Standing tall, his frame erected,

Baby blossom came to be,
Offspring of her dad, connected.

Then the toils of life grew old,
Though his prime not yet selected.

The colors waned; the petals withered.
Tired of being disrespected.

Stood once more, then head grew limp,
The desert wind—unprotected.

I’m sad it took the flower spent
To fill the air with its sweet scent.
Farewell, Donnie: bid life goodbye.
All we’re left to do is sigh,
And grieve the death of glory lost,
Of losing one at such a cost...

40 - Vacation

I don't know if I will get a chance to post tomorrow. If not, it will be a week before I have the opportunity again: I'm going on vacation with my mom, dad, sister, and nieces to Gulf Shores, AL.

We typically go annually, but last year Dennis interrupted our plans.

The forecast for next week looks great! We usually go later in the year (the second or third week in July), but since the National Hurricane Center has predicted a strong season again this year, we decided to go earlier in the summer. Until I return to Cyberspace, to Gulf Shores and BEYOND....

39 - Political Persuasion...

As I've stated before, I really dislike politics. I don't fit any of the typical definitions of partisanship, and I hate the divisiveness politics creates among people.

My friend Ann sent this link yesterday that helped me understand why I don't really feel either Republican or Democrat: http://www.theadvocates.org/quiz.html. It's known as the World's Smallest Political Quiz.

Here's how I scored:
Suppose I need to take a closer look at Libertarian candidates for office in the future...

38 - Yesterday at the Gardens...

My buddy Rufus took these shots of my yard yesterday. (Thanks a bunch, J.V.!)

The photo above proves how much my lantana, purple heart, and vinca have grown.

The nursery didn't know what the flowers are called that I placed around my mailbox. I just hoped they would do well in full sun, and they do!

The purple trumpets fall to the ground before they begin to lose their beauty so the area around the mailbox is literally littered with the luscious blooms.

If you know the name of this plant, please let me know...

This is my daylily garden. I honestly didn't expect so many blooms this first year after I transplanted them, but I'm grateful for every single display of brilliance!

This is my favorite one! I call it peach because three of the petals are a salmon color while the other three are pale yellow...similar to the colorings of a ripe peach.

This yellow one looks like the sun. Its slender petals remind me that dainty things can also be powerful things...

It's hard to tell from this shot, but I have nicknamed this daylily my black one. Without the sun's direct light, it has a deep burgundy hue that almost looks black when in shadow.

This large-petaled wonder has fabulous ruffles on the edges of its flower parts. Although the picture gives it a light orange appearance, it's a nice rust in reality...

37 - Two years ago...

This is what my house looked like when I moved in two years ago...

The ornamental plum and evergreen near the front door almost completely hid the front of the house. In this shot, you can see a bit of the bush on the left side of the house, too. Very busy...