Working It Out

46 - Saturday, July 22, 2006

2006-07-26T10:55:00.000-05:00

(I've been trying to make this post since Monday, but I've been having trouble loading some photos. I just decided to make the post minus the pictures...)

Saturday, after mowing, Emily and I went to a double feature. We saw "Lady in the Water" and "My Super Ex-Girlfriend." Em liked the former better: I, the latter.

After dropping Emily off, I went home to dress for my date with David. It was our one-month anniversary, so I was treating him to a musical, and he was treating me to supper. He chose Le Chardonnay at Overton Square (next door to the Playhouse on the Square) for dinner. Needless to say, but the food was outstanding...especially the escargot!

After supper we walked next door to see "Urinetown." It was FABULOUS!!! The gospel selection alone was worth every dime of the admission price!

David had one request: he didn't want to be peed on. I assured him that he didn't have to worry--even though we sat on the second row center. How was I supposed to know that we would be splattered with urine?!? But I made up for the shock of the wetness by introducing him to one of my co-workers as my "boyfriend" (another big step for me) and grabbing his hand as we strolled back to the parking lot in Midtown Memphis!!!

In the gallery of the theatre was an exhibit of artwork by a guy named Michael P. Maness. He's from Southaven--a Mississippi surburb of Memphis--and I adore his work. Lots of color and emotion. (Some of his originals had been displayed at the Orpheum earlier this year.)

I decided on a whim to see if I could commission him to do a painting of me at a concert grand with my cat Maria on a sea of flowers. I emailed my request and was shocked when he agreed!

I found out through our email exchanges that he is recovering from chemotherapy right now and will have a six-month "rest" before his next round of chemo begins. Knowing he's not well makes me want the painting even more than before.

If you like Mike's work, shoot him an email and let him know...

BOB

45 - Born Gay

2006-07-21T13:21:00.000-05:00

Okay...so I haven't posted in a long time. It's been both rough and wonderful these last several weeks.

I met a special man who receives much of my spare time.

I'm working three jobs. (Did I say I had spare time?)

My air conditioning went out a week ago so chores like drying clothes and mowing the lawn had to be postponed, but...

... my dad had a heart attack on Sunday; therefore, I was out of town through Monday night and didn't resume household duties until Tuesday.

(By the way, Daddy had three stents and is doing well. And, yes, I do call him Daddy, not Dad: it's a Southern thing...)

Anyway...my friend Ann just sent me this link: http://www.borndifferent.org. It was so powerful that I had to share it with you. Turn up your volume and enjoy!

44 - Ambien? BEWARE!!!

2006-07-06T16:42:00.000-05:00

I was reminded a couple of days ago about my reaction to Ambien while I was attempting to be ex-gay.

I had signed up with the Christian-based e-harmony.com to find "the girl of my dreams." (Well, maybe the girl of my daydreams...Night dreams were still greatly influenced by beautiful men...)

Because of some drug reactions, sinus congestion, apnea, and other factors, I had developed a case of insomnia. My doctor prescribed Ambien.

I couldn't really tell that I was any less tired when I was taking the medicine, but I took it nonetheless.

The girl I met, Rachel, was a nurse, and she "needed" a call from me each day. I am not a telephone person, but I determined that with the relationship being long-distance that I owed her this expression of my selflessness.

I shared with her that I still felt wiped out each day so she recommended that I take the Ambien before I called her each night so that I would be ready to hit the bed after our conversations. Big mistake!

The first night I took Rachel's advice I ingested the medicine about 10:00 p.m. I then called her about 10:15. I only remember saying goodbye to her about 10:45...

The next day she was mortified by our conversation. I apologized, but she was so upset she wouldn't share with me what I said, and I honestly couldn't remember the topics of discussion and still, to this day, have no recollection of what I said.

Finally, after weeks of begging on my end, she revealed that I called and hung up on her three times in that 45-minute period AND that I shared detailed homosexual fantasies with her. (At that time, I had not ever had sex with a man or a woman...so fantasies were all I had.)

I stopped the Ambien immediately. Later on, I spoke to other friends--some in the medical profession-who had had similar experiences. Yet, my doctor still offers Ambien yearly as an alternative to my sleepless episodes.

The best part of this story is this: now that I'm "ex-ex-gay," I realize that when I'm not able to "choose" heterosexuality, my homosexuality is an unconscious part of the real me. I don't choose to be gay: I just am. For that epiphany, I thank you, Ambien...

Otherwise, my advice is to flush the Ambien you have and/or to avoid future presciptions! It's not worth the fear of not knowing your actions and reactions...

43 - Queer Bush

2006-06-30T10:11:00.000-05:00

Okay...don't tell me that Mr. Bush's glance isn't a little bit...uh, well...gay...

Today the President and Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi are in Memphis for Graceland and the Rendezvous, and I just had to post this very intimate photo from CNN with the caption:

"President Bush and Japanese Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi have a particularly close relationship."

Hmmm..."close"...very interesting...

42 - Vacation in Gulf Shores, AL

2006-06-25T12:16:00.000-05:00

My mom, dad, sister, nieces and I went to Gulf Shores, AL,

a week ago and stayed a few days on the Gulf of Mexico.

We stayed at the Island Shores Condominiums.

The beach was pristine every single day!

The first edifice we noticed with hurricane damage (Ivan struck in 2004; Dennis last year) was the pier. As you can see, vast sections are now missing.

Locals told us that the most stolen item during the days following the hurricanes was sand! The National Guard forced looters to return the sand to the areas from which it was taken.

I awoke early Tuesday morning to a wonderful surprise. A school of dophins was playing in the water opposite our condo balcony. What a sight to see those six to ten animals frolicking in the Gulf!

But the most amazing sight I saw was Tuesday morning's shadow on a clear day! About 10 feet into the water was a dark 20-ft. wide shadow that meandered along the beach as far east and west as the eye could see. When I got into the water, I realized that it was millions of three-inch long minnows migrating west in the morning and east that same afternoon! It was like parting the Red Sea everytime I took a step.

The seagulls would squawk at the fish, startling them. The fish would then flip like silver dollars a few inches out of the water to provide the birds with a meal.

Souvenir City was celebrating its fiftieth year on the beach this summer. (You enter through the shark's mouth.) I enjoyed seeing photos that detailed the devastation brought on by Hurricane Ivan.

This is a photo that represents the lashing taken from Ivan.

Another Gulf Shores staple--the Original Oyster House--also had a high water mark...four feet high on the bar...on the second floor! I enjoyed eating there my last night. I had their famous gumbo (made fresh daily), a dozen raw oysters, fried shrimp, stuffed fish, baked potato with sour cream, slaw and sweet tea. Yum-yum!!!

41 - Donnie Moore: A Requiem

2006-06-23T11:22:00.000-05:00

I first saw Donnie when he entered our tiny school as an elementary student, but it was my joy to be able to teach Donnie after I returned from college as an eleventh- and twelfth-grade English instructor.

Donnie was a pint-sized tornado. Loveable, but sassy. Mischievous, but loyal.

He had Italian blood--dark complexioned and dark hair--and a beautiful face. Of course, by the time he was a Senior, his teeth were terribly discolored from the many "smokes" he afforded himself daily. Still, there was a boyish cuteness that made him attractive--even when he wasn't happy.

He began his senior year in 1994 and graduated in 1996. Yes, he was too smart to stay in school so he quit during his first senior year. I was surprised (and secretly elated) that Donnie showed up in the fall of 1995 to finish his requirements for a diploma.

Donnie was an orphan of sorts. His mom, from what was gossipped around town, had lived with a man in our little town for a short time and then, on a whim, left not only her boyfriend but her son for someone else. Donnie was raised by a local mechanic whose only connection to the boy was the fact that he had been Donnie's mother's lover at some time in the past.

Donnie had more talent for drawing in his little finger than I have in my whole body. I wanted to make a photo of his Beowulf poster that I kept from his senior year to share on the blog, but that didn't work out. Believe me though: you'd be impressed!

I lost track of Donnie after he graduated. The next word I had from him came in 2001--June 24, 2001, to be exact. I found out that he had gotten married and that he and his wife had a beautiful baby girl.

I also found out that Donnie had hung himself.

I was so grieved. This kid--that most teachers and fellow classmates had shunned--was one of the highlights of my 1995-1996 school year. And now he was dead.

From that sadness, I created an elegy to commemorate his life. I hope you enjoy...

Donnie Moore, a desert blossom,
Spent his life alone, rejected.

Growing ‘mong the thorns and thistles,
Never any hope—neglected.

Burning sun, the heat intense,
Donnie’s bud so unexpected.

I caught a glimpse while passing by,
Beauty pulsing, unsuspected.

Cradled gently in my hands,
The head of one no need dejected.

Held him up for all to see—
But no one came; not one inspected.

Fertilized by one lone tear,
Standing tall, his frame erected,

Baby blossom came to be,
Offspring of her dad, connected.

Then the toils of life grew old,
Though his prime not yet selected.

The colors waned; the petals withered.
Tired of being disrespected.

Stood once more, then head grew limp,
The desert wind—unprotected.

I’m sad it took the flower spent
To fill the air with its sweet scent.
Farewell, Donnie: bid life goodbye.
All we’re left to do is sigh,
And grieve the death of glory lost,
Of losing one at such a cost...

40 - Vacation

2006-06-15T16:31:00.000-05:00

I don't know if I will get a chance to post tomorrow. If not, it will be a week before I have the opportunity again: I'm going on vacation with my mom, dad, sister, and nieces to Gulf Shores, AL.

We typically go annually, but last year Dennis interrupted our plans.

The forecast for next week looks great! We usually go later in the year (the second or third week in July), but since the National Hurricane Center has predicted a strong season again this year, we decided to go earlier in the summer. Until I return to Cyberspace, to Gulf Shores and BEYOND....

39 - Political Persuasion...

2006-06-15T08:53:00.000-05:00

As I've stated before, I really dislike politics. I don't fit any of the typical definitions of partisanship, and I hate the divisiveness politics creates among people.

My friend Ann sent this link yesterday that helped me understand why I don't really feel either Republican or Democrat: http://www.theadvocates.org/quiz.html. It's known as the World's Smallest Political Quiz.

Here's how I scored:
Suppose I need to take a closer look at Libertarian candidates for office in the future...

38 - Yesterday at the Gardens...

2006-06-12T14:10:00.000-05:00

My buddy Rufus took these shots of my yard yesterday. (Thanks a bunch, J.V.!)

The photo above proves how much my lantana, purple heart, and vinca have grown.

The nursery didn't know what the flowers are called that I placed around my mailbox. I just hoped they would do well in full sun, and they do!

The purple trumpets fall to the ground before they begin to lose their beauty so the area around the mailbox is literally littered with the luscious blooms.

If you know the name of this plant, please let me know...

This is my daylily garden. I honestly didn't expect so many blooms this first year after I transplanted them, but I'm grateful for every single display of brilliance!

This is my favorite one! I call it peach because three of the petals are a salmon color while the other three are pale yellow...similar to the colorings of a ripe peach.

This yellow one looks like the sun. Its slender petals remind me that dainty things can also be powerful things...

It's hard to tell from this shot, but I have nicknamed this daylily my black one. Without the sun's direct light, it has a deep burgundy hue that almost looks black when in shadow.

This large-petaled wonder has fabulous ruffles on the edges of its flower parts. Although the picture gives it a light orange appearance, it's a nice rust in reality...

37 - Two years ago...

2006-06-12T09:19:00.000-05:00

This is what my house looked like when I moved in two years ago...

The ornamental plum and evergreen near the front door almost completely hid the front of the house. In this shot, you can see a bit of the bush on the left side of the house, too. Very busy...

36 - This is the home that Bob bought....

2006-06-08T09:44:00.000-05:00

I bought my home in Cordova on June 24, 2004.

When I bought the house, there were 15-ft. bushes flanking the house, another huge bush next to the front door, a 20-ft. tree growing where the stone path now is, and a couple of ugly boxwoods planted at the end of the sidewalk directly in front of the door.

This photo shows my home in May after I had finished my spring plantings and had mulched everything.

This is the only shot that shows my new Osakazuki Japanese maple. She's about eight feet tall now. I adopted her about six months ago.

This photo is out of sequence. My azaleas bloomed, of course, in springtime; however, I wanted to share their bold pink color since, in the summer, they only have beautiful green foliage. Notice the empty flower beds. (My winter pansies didn't do very well this past year.)

I bought this tile hanging at Seaport Village in San Diego. I picked the frame and number design, and then the owner glued everything together. I think it's lovely...

This is the left side of my house. My property stops where the white rocks around the central unit end. I had considered placing something around the unit, but I realized that, if there is ever a problem with the air or heat, I don't want the service person frustrated with shrubbery as he or she is repairing the unit.

I've had trouble with the yellow rock moss. Oh, the plants grow like weeds, but neighborhood cats kept digging them up when they scratched the loose mulch after a poop.

Note the brownish spots on the azaleas: it's where the blooms died and haven't fallen off yet.

I chose rose vinca (periwinkle), purple heart, and yellow lantana for the front beds. They have filled in so much now that these photos hardly represent the yard anymore.

I created this side bed just this past spring. (Last year it was lawn.) I used the same plants for this bed as the other front beds.

These are my daylilies. I have yellow, red, peach, and blackish red blooms now showing their faces. Daylilies typically have blooms that last one short day: they open in the morning and close in their final sleep at the end of that same day.

My Aunt Verda gave me a starting of these plants while she was sick with lung cancer in 1989. Aunt Verda would spend entire vacation checks purchasing different varieties of daylilies. As she wheezed and looked much older than her 58 years, we walked around her property, and I dug up the seven or eight varieties that I found most beautiful. She would not live to see her daylilies bloom another season. Thanks, Aunt Verda, for your love...

I added a few deep purple petunias behind the lilies to contrast with their reds and yellows as well as to make the bed lovely throughout the remainder of the summer after the daylilies have finished their blooming season.

What you can't see are the daffodil leaves underneath the mulch still decomposing, providing nourishment for next spring's daffodil season.

This is most of my backyard. The bay window surrounds my breakfast nook off the kitchen. Outside I decided to plant my first herb garden.

I have catnip (for Maria), basil, lavender (three varieties), sage/salvia (the yellowish-leaved plants, which smell like pineapple when crushed and produce lovely red spikes of blooms a little later in the year), chives, tarragon, oregano, and thyme.

Okay, Maria is not a plant, but this was just too cute not to post!

35 - Unwanted among the unwanted...

2006-06-06T08:57:00.000-05:00

Yesterday's rally in front of LiA was very uncomfortable for me.

No, it wasn't the fact that I was at a demonstration when I'm so apolitical. (I hate politics for the same reason I hate denominations: it causes humans to disassociate from one another...and usually with painful results.)

No, it wasn't the fact that I was a GenXer in a sea of teens and twenty-somethings...although I did feel quite old!

No, it wasn't the fact that I might be on TV when the cameras panned the audience. I was on TV, and frankly it's becoming easier with each "outing."

No, it wasn't that I was so close in proximity to LiA, a community of fellow believers that had wounded me very deeply. Yes, that was a consideration, but I knew that most staff members don't even know me anymore. (John doesn't keep his staff for very long: when their intelligence catches up with their convictions, it's usually goodbye.)

So what was it? Why was I so uncomfortable as I rallied for the teens being sentenced to a summer of cultic shaming?

It was this: I didn't fit in. I didn't fit in with the group in the old church building on the top of the hill that LiA calls home. I no longer believe that being gay is a choice or that being gay is a myth (...a couple of options LiA adheres to but that seem like oxymorons to me).

But I didn't fit in with the crew at the bottom of the hill either. Why?

I believe it all rested on the fact that I am a Christian, and most of the protesters hated organized religion...to include Christianity.

I certainly don't blame them! I mean, how can a group of people so despised by the Church allow themselves to love those who find them unloveable?

But this was the key to my anxiety yesterday. Again, I found myself an outsider among outsiders.

Yes, I tried to meet the people there, but I discovered that many were not pleased to be in my presence, choosing at times to quickly excuse themselves for a more familiar ally.

Am I glad I went to the rally? Absolutely! I was not there to make friends. I was there to show my support to the teens who are forced into a program that shames them for their sexuality orientation. And that mission I accomplished....

34 - Demonstration...of Love...

2006-06-04T17:58:00.000-05:00

Well, tomorrow is the day for the rally outside the offices of Love in Action...a demonstration of support for gay teens and against a society that finds them abominations and worthy of confinement with sex offenders.

This weekend has been difficult...feelings of self-pity and loneliness...feelings I haven't felt in such a long time.

I wonder how God is moving in this area of my life. Am I feeling down because I'm going back to a place (LiA) that brought me so much grief and shame? Is it because I probably will be the only former client AND former staff member to voice his opposition--which likely will be fodder for local news stations and might lead to more abandonment from friends and family? Do I see myself as an island because, of the friends I have in the gay community, no one is able to join me in this very serious battle? Is God using these feelings of discouragement to fuel my passion for the fight...and to keep me from being anything but heartbroken that these kids are being degraded by their loved ones?

I don't know yet. But this I do know: if you read this blog and have five seconds, send some good vibes my way. If you have ten seconds, pray for the demise of Love in Action's Refuge program. If you have fifteen seconds, pray that the gay community of Memphis steps in with an alternative to this shame-based ministry...an alternative that still holds integrity as a beautiful attribute in any person's life...

Gay teens...I'm on my way!

33 - Pick a button and stick it!

2006-06-02T09:53:00.000-05:00

32 - Annual Credit Report

2006-06-02T09:18:00.000-05:00

You can receive a free credit report (or two) by clicking the following link and completing the instructions: http://www.annualcreditreport.com .

I've found it to be a fantastic resource to help me keep track of credit card accounts and my standing with each.

At this time of year, I close all extraneous accounts (like those where I get 25% off at GAP for opening an account).

THIS IS NOT A CREDIT RATING. Each of the three companies will try to sell you this rating for a small fee, but this report is just a detailed view of all of your activity over the years.

I recommend Equifax and Experian. (I find TransUnion frustrating.)

31 - Memorial Day Weekend

2006-05-31T08:23:00.000-05:00

I started this past weekend with a wedding. My friends Kristen Melton and Erich Miller were married in Brighton, TN.

On Sunday, my buddy Rufus and I hiked Pinnacle Mountain in Little Rock, AR.

The East Summit Trail is mainly boulders, which makes the path pretty strenuous.

Although the sun was blazing and the sweat was dripping, we managed to make it to the top of the formation. The wind was cool and refreshing, and the views were breathtaking. The following photo shows the Arkansas River flowing into Downtown Little Rock.

This shot captures best the magnificence of the surrounding beauty from the summit's peak.

On Monday, Rufus and I took in downtown Memphis.

First, we rode the Riverfront Loop trolley and determined what we wanted to see, and then we made our way back to the fountains in this photo.

Downtown was a virtual ghost town. Only the homeless were there besides us. Perhaps it was because Memphis in May was over, and people were on the road home after the weekend.

A good bit of trash was strewn about the area surrounding the fountains. (I'm glad this photo doesn't show the dirtiness.)

As we headed west toward the middle of Downtown, the "clean factor" improved.

After Rufus and I returned home, I went to my friend Emily's house for BBQ. I made a mocha frapuccino homemade ice cream that everyone loved. I dubbed the flavor "cocoa javano." If you'd like the recipe, let me know. It was delicious!

30 - STOP SHAMING GAY TEENS!!!

2006-05-25T16:05:00.000-05:00

I received word today via my friend Peterson that Love in Action is continuing its relentless pursuit of degrading and exploiting homosexuals--even those as young as 13 years old!!!

As Peterson points out on his blog, the Queer Action Coalition of Memphis discovered that Love in Action (LiA) has a just released a new agenda for the summer of 2006:

"Although we have seen success in our ministry, we see the culture relentlessly fighting back. So, we are expanding our ammunition to battle for young people and their families.

Our experienced counselors and staff will offer a whole new array of options starting during the summer of 2006:

• Residential recovery for young adults (ages 18-25)

• College campus outreach

• Revamped summer program for youth (ages 13-17)

• Seminars to equip church and community youth leaders

• Conferences to heal wounds within families

• Creative support for parents and families"

How many 13-year-old gay kids do you know? Oh, there are those that tend to be too effeminate (boys) or too butch (girls) that society ASSUMES are gay, but how can anyone know at that stage of development? So, are we going to take those kids we assume to be gay and shame them more than their peers already have by forcing them into a recovery program against their wills? And you can be sure that these are the only kids that will face the persecution of such a program: masculine gays and feminine lesbians have already learned to hide their sexual urges to conform to society's norms. The whole thing just makes me furious!

Anyway, a peaceful demonstration will be held on Monday, June 5th, to show our opposition to such horrifying practices. (The times are listed on the QAC website.)

If you are from Memphis, let me strongly encourage you to join me as we show LiA our disgust for their cultic practices. If you are not from Memphis but you know someone who lives here and is gay-affirming, please ask them to join our demonstration.

Is this not just a religion-based form of sexual abuse? Will it take a suicide to bring this issue to the public eye? Or will even suicide be blamed on sexual orientation rather than sexual perpertrators?

29 - Ex-Gay Therapy Gets Air Time

2006-05-24T08:42:00.000-05:00

This video is showing today on CNN's website.

It stirs many emotions--especially since I spent two years of my life in Love in Action and 35 years trying not to be gay.

At least, Richard Cohen makes an utter fool of himself beating the memories of his mother with a tennis racket. (To those of you not familiar with ex-gay therapy, this is not a lone demonstration of insanity. I've attended a co-client's "funeral" before--while he's in the room listening to all of us tell how sad we are that he wasted his life in pursuit of homosexuality!)

Like the Church itself, there are denominations and factions within denominations in the ex-gay culture. LiA doesn't think Richard Cohen is part of their camp: they would never allow "inappropriate" touch as he does in his sessions. (We had supervised hugs with other men that lasted a second or two. One of the clients noticed that we all started using the "straight" hug in all of our embraces with other men--a quick hug with three rapid pats on the back that seemed to say, "I'm-not-gay.")

Conversion therapy is a lie. Notice that the Asian-American under Cohen's care didn't even have the ability to say that he was ex-gay--just that he was "happier." Conversion does not occur: even graduates of ex-gay programs will tell you that they still have same-sex attractions to men.

Okay, I could rant for days about this, but I'll just post it, listen to your comments and maybe share more as I read your posts...

28 - Pat Robertson embracing gays?!?

2006-05-23T08:37:00.000-05:00

My friend Rufus sent me this link yesterday. The story is a week old, but what a bold and concise expression of truth...

Notice that I HAD to place the photo on the LEFT side of this entry--five to one tip the scales...

27 - San Diego Zoo

2006-05-19T15:01:00.000-05:00

Although this sampling of photos is only a tiny percentage of the animals who make their home at the San Diego Zoo, I wanted to share them anyway. I really enjoyed my time there...

I can't recall the name of this animal, but I took the photo mainly for the architecture in the background. See the California Tower in the distance. Below it resides the Museum of Man, a museum of anthropology which is one of many museums in Balboa Park.

This group of deer is one of the world's rarest. After a routine cleaning of their facility a few years ago, the deer all dropped to the ground a few days after being returned to this spot. Zookeepers and vets were horrified, and immediately began to attempt to diagnose the problem. It turned out to be drunkeness! The deer usually devour the fruit from a certain tree as soon as it appears, but because they had been absent a few days, the fruit had fallen to the ground and fermented. The deer recovered after a day or so...

This eagle was so impressive. It's probably hard to detect in the photo but he has about 10 to 15 feathers that stick out from his "mane" Alfalfa-style. It helped me understand why Native Americans might have fashioned headdresses in the same fashion.

These flamingos are not much different from the ones at the Memphis Zoo, but their territory was. As you can see, they have built mud nests, and in the background one flamingo is sitting atop a hatched egg. In the flamingo world, both male and female share the nesting duties AND the nursing duties: male flamingos have mammary glands, too!

I could have paid $5 for three biscuits to feed the giraffes, but I chose to photograph a child doing so instead. (The biscuits contain very little nutrional value, but the giraffes love them: Sounds like humans!) Zookeepers asked that people play tug-of-war with the giraffes' incredibly long blue tongues because it more relicates their struggle in the wild for food. Seeing people get slimed with giraffe saliva was hilarious, and the spit caused the animals not to have to put up much of a fight for their food. (By the way, their tongues are blue to protect them from the sun.)

Note the cute zookeeper! -->

This viewing area for the hippo is similar to our new viewing areas at the Memphis Zoo for the sea lions and polar bears. I think Mr. Hippo likes being underwater: see his smile!

The panther above (actually also called a leopard--see his spots?) was so beautiful!

This peacock greeted everyone at the front entrance. Not only were his colors loud, but his mating call has probably burst many of his girlfriends' eardrums!

As a side note, fundamentalist Christians now argue that certain birds (like penguins and eagles) are monogamous for life--one male for one female forever. This, according to them, helps prove that heterosexual coupling is God's only plan for his creation. I have a question: most male birds are MUCH more beautiful than their female counterparts. Does this prove that men are the prettier of the two sexes? Well, I certainly think so... ;o)

I had to grab a shot of this serow and her new baby. The photo was taken from a distance so the image may be a bit blurry.

My favorite experience at the zoo! A trainer had a white wolf out on a walk when our tour bus drove by. We were asked to howl to see if the wolf would reciprocate. As you can see, he did!

This is a view of the zoo from the sky tram. Notice how well protected the animals are by trees. No peeking from a passing jet!

26 - Seaport Village

2006-05-18T16:29:00.000-05:00

Seaport Village is a shopping/dining area on the shores of San Diego Harbor across from Coronado.

I made this shot of the horse and carriage for my nieces.

The photo above is looking across the harbor to Coronado. The bridge that connects mainland San Diego to the Coronado peninsula is a sweeping expanse that curves almost 90 degrees in mid-air! Dan claims that there is a platform built at its apex to aid suicide victims in their pursuit of freedom from this world. There is also a telephone with a connection to the suicide prevention hotline.

This park is on the south side of Seaport Village. Again, my favorite trees line the pathways...

This ship was used in the film Pirates of the Caribbean.

Although this shanty was part of the Seaport Village "atmosphere," I still loved it.

25 - La Jolla

2006-05-17T15:51:00.000-05:00

La Jolla (pronounced "la hoe-yah": it's Spanish) is one of the costliest pieces

of real estate property in America, and the photos will show why.

I love the way this palm tree is turning his head toward the Pacific.

Hopefully, if you click on this image, you will be able to see the hundreds of birds scattered on the rocks along the shoreline. Another little creature that fascinated me was a little squirrel...at least, I think it was a squirrel. They are not much bigger then my hand and are so emaciated they look famished. The following is a photo of one that I found on the web...

Isn't she adorable?

This group of boulders on the Pacific shore fascinated me because of the three seals on the farthest rock out.

Between the cliffs was this magnificent surge of power!

This photo looks south toward the Children's Pool (or Casa Beach). A manmade concrete wall juts into the Pacific around the beach and makes viewing of the marine life more accessible to us humans. [Note the purple succulents trailing off the hillside.]

A distant view of the Children's Pool reveals the last of the pupping season for the seals. Loads of controversy erupted this year because Californians want to reclaim the beach for their kids, but environmentalists want to keep Casa Beach free of humans in the spring so that the seals can continue to birth and nurse their babies. If humans get too close to the seal pups, the moms will abandon the babies, which die from malnutrition.

Note the size of the daddy seal near the rock in the ocean compared to the black pups near him!

After standing above the seals on the concrete wall, I can't understand why adults would want to have their children in this particular body of water. It was so putrid!!!

The seals all have their butts away from the water except the one nearest the water on the right. He's looking right at me!!!

24 - Gay Gatos

2006-05-17T11:02:00.000-05:00

These orange and white cats are my friend Dan's sons. The one on the left of the photo is all snuggles and loving, and the one on the right was vomited from the bowels of Hell...

I caught them lying together and snapped this sweet shot. A little later on, they had their front legs around each others necks--a little telling even for California felines.

23 - San Diego Plantlife

2006-05-16T14:07:00.000-05:00

If you or someone you know can tell me the real names for these plants, I'd be most appreciative. I know many of our Southeastern US plants, but these Southwestern desert plants elude me.

I know this is an aloe, but I'm unsure what kind. With the shaft of the bloom jutting into the air, this 10 foot tall specimen made my four-inch one at home look tiny. (No jokes, Peterson, about the size of my aloe...)

This beautiful plant was on the grounds of the Cabrillo National Monument at Point Loma.

This bottle brush plant was even prettier in person (or should I say, in plant). I think I took this photo at the San Diego Zoo. I know: I was supposed to be looking at animals...

This lovely bougainvillea was gigantic. While I've seen these grow in the South, due to local freezes they never get this large. Old Town was covered in these fabulous plants in many striking colors.

This is a lush park on the Pacific shore of La Jolla. This photo contains the only palmate I photographed.

This hillside was covered in thousands of red, orange and yellow nasturtiams. I have heard of this plant for many years, but I have never seen them--and to see them in such a mass planting was breathtaking!

These magenta succulents were at the San Diego Zoo; however, succulents such as these were as plentiful as sand in the city. Sometime the succulents would cascade off the side of a cliff in a silent waterfall of blooms, which helps with erosion in both a utilitarian and an esthetic way.

Yet another succulent is this one with yellow blooms...

This may very well be my most favorite tree in the entire world. When I spotted it on my first trip to San Diego in 2000, I was flabbergasted. Usually appearing without leaves, the stark tall but squatty tree has brilliant red blooms in early spring. I can't recall its name although I have heard tour operators share information about them. (If I were able to get my hands on one, I would attempt to grow it in my yard.)

22 - Yummy Goodness in San Diego

2006-05-12T15:44:00.000-05:00

POINT LOMA SEAFOODS

Best squid plate I've ever had!

TODAI

Fabulous sushi buffet! I tried every single roll!!!

THE CHEESECAKE FACTORY

Great fish tacos...Wish I'd had room for the tiramisu cheesecake!

SOUPLANTATION

Morrison's/Picadilly's for soup/salad eaters...For vegans and vegetable lovers...

Tossed Salads: Caesar Salad Asiago, Strawberry Fields with Carmelized Walnuts, Won Ton Chicken Happiness

Prepared Salads: Artichoke Rice, Joan's Broccoli Madness, Picnic Potato, Spicy Southwestern Pasta, Tuna Tarragon

Soups: Big Chunk Chicken Noodle, Classical Shrimp Bisque, Deep Kettle House Chili, Irish Potato Leek, Tomato Parmesan & Vegetables, Yankee Clipper Clam Chowder with Bacon

Pastas: Macaroni & Cheese, Roasted Eggplant Marinara

Muffins: Buttermilk Cornbread, Chocolate Brownie Muffin, Cranberry Orange Bran Muffin, Garlic Asiago Focaccia, Quattro Formaggio Focaccia, Strawberry Buttermilk Muffin

Desserts: Chocolate Pudding, Vanilla Pudding, Seasonal Fresh Fruit, Frozen Yogurt

21 - American Made

2006-05-12T12:23:00.000-05:00

I'll admit it: one of my pet peeves is the wide swath of the American public who only purchase Ford, Chevrolet and other vehicles because they are American products.

Never mind the fact that those brands suck in most performance tests.

I don't know why I care. I mean, if people want to spend their money pooly, why do I care? I think it must be the air of superiority that these people wind my way when the proof is undeniable that their choices are stinky at best.

Then comes an article in yesterday's "Wall Street Journal" that had me grinning.

The Ford Mustang is made with 65% American parts while the Toyota Sienna is 90% American!

Okay, the "humble" part of my website name has taken a hike today...

But at least the news about the inferiority of American made is "out" and been dealt another blow.

20 - Free Sex Show!

2006-05-11T13:46:00.000-05:00

I visited the San Diego Zoo this past Saturday.

I had planned to make some entries about the visit after I had my film developed, but one story just can't wait. Besides, I had already used all of my exposures before this event and was too cheap to buy a $17 disposable camera at the zoo store.

At the end of my trip, I made the trek around the monkeys with my last stop being the orangutans.

Their artificial environment there at the zoo is lovely. A large plate glass window surrounds the front of their enclosure because the intelligent little rascals kept escaping from the previous exhibit.

As we stood there looking at the half dozen to dozen orangutans, something interesting happened.

A male orangutan gently pushed his female partner backward, and as she lay back, she draped the back of her arm across her forehead, as if to say, "Honey, how embarrassing...and in front of all of these people...."

He then spread her legs and gingerly moved into position, sitting on his haunches.

Talk about parents dispersing in a heartbeat!!! Kids were questioning, "Daddy, what's he doing?" And daddies were responding with their usual candor: "Nothing! Come on: let's go see the koalas..." as they swept their children into their arms away from the giant window of monkey pleasure...

HA!

19 - Home Again...

2006-05-10T14:11:00.000-05:00

Well, after a week in San Deigo, I'm home again.

I feel fairly rested and am trying to get back into the swing of things at work.

This morning I spent time getting the songsheets ready for worship Saturday at the Evangelicals Concerned Conference here at First Congo in Memphis. What a day that will be!

I will lead worship from 9:00 - 9:30 and then head to Germantown for my piano students' spring recital at 11:00. From 1:00 - 1:30, I will lead worship again; immediately afterwards, I have a haircut scheduled. Then from 4:40-5:30, I will lead worship the last time (as part of a Communion service). Later on, I will drive to Tupelo, MS, so I can go to church with Mama for Mother's Day on Sunday.

Choosing the music for worship was harder than I imagined. Having been wounded farily recently by church authority, I found that the pain from the Church's rejection of my sexual orientation weighed heavily on my choices for worship. (In a typical worship set in a typical worship service, praise sets the stage, followed by worship, and possibly contrition.)

My first set will focus on comfort. I want the men and women who attend this conference to know that I understand what it's like to be shunned by religious leaders...but more importantly, Christ knows. This set will be followed by discussion of the clobber passages in the Word.

The next set, after lunch, will focus on praise--or confidence in worship once again. Testimonies about reconcilation will be shared after this time of worship.

At the end of the day, with Communion as the pinnacle of the day, I will attempt to focus the group on consecration.

Pray that lives will be touched--especially this worship leader's heart...

18 - Busy, busy...

2006-05-02T09:00:00.000-05:00

Wow! The last few days have been so hectic. From turning dirt at midnight on Friday night (in an attempt to beat the rains from washing away my peat moss) to preparations for my weeklong trip to San Diego tomorrow, it's been quite a whirlwind of events . I'm ready to get on the plane in Little Rock and rest a little while...

I found out last Thursday that my mom had melanoma. I was at the hospital yesterday with her. (Everything is great right now: we'll know more on May 11.)

Then I gained a roommate last night. He and his boyfriend broke up, and he's staying with me until he transfers home (the Midwest) in the late summer or fall.

I still need to wash and dry clothes, clean the house, go shopping, and pack before 9:00 a.m. tomorrow. But I have an 8-hour workday here at my main job and will teach three piano lessons after work. See what I mean about being ready to relax in the seat on the plane?!?

Anyway, the promise from God is that there is a season for all things: a time for sickness and a time for health, a time for grieving and a time for joy, a time for working my tail off and a time for relaxing in the beautiful environment of SoCal...

17 - Who's really insane here?

2006-04-27T15:22:00.000-05:00

About a year ago, I received a phone call from the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill. The caller asked if I had any household items that I would donate to their organization so they could better provide for the needs of those in their care.

I was glad to help.

I suppose I have contributed goods a half dozen times this past year. The instructions are simple enough: Place the contents in garbage bags, write "NAMI" on the outside, and leave in the entryway to my house for pickup.

Until a few weeks ago...

I agreed to support NAMI's efforts once more, but I forgot to place the bags out on the pickup date. Having checked my voicemail a day late, I realized my error.

I thought the only proper thing to do was to take the stuff to NAMI in person. I retrieved the phone number from my voicemail and called for directions to the organization. The conversation went something like this:

"Thrift store."

"Excuse me? Is the the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill?

"Uh, yeah."

"I forgot to leave my donation at the front door a couple of weeks ago and wondered if I could bring it to you."

"Sure, we're at Park and Getwell behind RiteAid. Just bring it to the back of the building."

I felt confused but dismissed my questioning as irrational.

When I got to the "organization" on Tuesday evening, it was indeed a for-profit thrift store!

I went to the back of the store to leave my stuff, and there were two white ladies rummaging through two dumpsters of crap.

Okay...I'm probably cynical, but something just seemed wrong with this whole scenario.

Did the thrift store sell the material collected for the benefit of NAMI OR was NAMI a guise for the thrift store?

Were the women going through the collection workers OR were they stealing the best stuff to sell at their next yard sale?

And if the collectables were of such importance to NAMI, why were the dumpsters so filthy and seemingly neglected?

Anyway, I took the stuff to Goodwill today at lunch. I just couldn't come to terms with the truth and thought it was better to go a different route to charity.

When NAMI calls for their next collection request, I have some questions for them...

But, even as I consider getting to the root of this charade, I had to be a little introspective myself. I found myself feeling superior to the women at the dumpsters and to the customers entering the thrift store. I couldn't change the feeling: I just felt it. But it caused me to reflect on how carnal even my desire to do good really is.

And I was also reminded of a thought I had a few years ago and jotted down, not knowing when I would ever share it with others.

"At the moment I look at someone else and say, I'm better than he is, I contradict myself."

Insane or not, I still think it was a pretty good thought...

16 - Psalm 103

2006-04-26T22:20:00.000-05:00

PSALM 103

(Written by David; Paraphrased by Bob)

1Glorify God, Bob; from deep within, glorify the reverence of His name.
2Magnify God, Bob, remembering his assurance plan for your future.
3The Lord promises to blot out all your evil doing and to bring complete healing.
4The Lord delivers you from the depths— from self-pity, from pride, from negative self-talk, even from Hell itself.
The Lord places love and empathy on your head. (He’s the only one with power to bestow such gifts.)

5The Lord not only knows your deepest longings, but He also fulfills those cravings with His best for your life.
In presenting these gifts to quench the thirst of your dehydrated body,
He restores the vigor of your youth, giving wings to your dreams.

6God sanctifies and justifies the discouraged— those who can’t help themselves.

7God spoke his heart to Moses, his boundaries to the Jews. (The law is meant to keep us from harm, but it is impossible to obey through willpower alone.)

8God is tender-hearted and polite, patient, limitless in love.
9He releases us from the charges against us, forgetting his righteous rage against us.
10He does not issue the death sentence for our sins, or retaliate when we are rebellious.
11As infinitely distant as celestial realms from this carnal world, equally vast is his mercy for his chosen ones;
12God has taken our wickedness, flinging our guilt to infinity.
13Just as a daddy shows tender love for his sons and daughters, so God the Father showers his love on those who honor him.
14Of course he understands our creation; he recalls that physically we are nothing more than mud.
15A man’s life is like the lawn or like a flower;
16When the growing season ends, life is over; and few if any remember the beauty that once was.
17However, God’s passion for his people is not constrained to man’s sense of time: it has always been a forever thing! His holiness is offered even to the grandchildren
18Of those who hold sacred his testimony and who choose to be obedient to his standards.

19God has set up his home in the heavenly places; furthermore, everyone bows to his Lordship.

20Hey, angels! Magnify God. You are the powerful ones who do whatever he requests, who act according to his command.
21Glorify God, angel band, willful slaves who delight in his choices.
22Exalt God, everything created!

23Bless God, Bob!

15 - Bob the Slob

2006-04-25T11:02:00.000-05:00

Almost anyone who knows me very well will agree that I'm obsessive-compulsive about many things--especially cleaning.

Like Cinderella, I scrub the kitchen and bathroom floors on my hands and knees. No bacteria-intested mop for me!

But I just read an article in today's Wall Street Journal about Italian women's cleaning rituals, and they put me to shame.

The average Italian spends 21 hours a week cleaning her house--and 5 extra hours ironing everything from underwear to sheets! (I stopped ironing a few years ago: talk about liberation!)

I scrub my floors about once a month. I keep them tidy in the meantime, but I'm on my knees only three times per quarter. The article said that Italian women scrub their floors four times per WEEK!

Using the same advertising tactics in Italy that they used in America, the company who makes Swiffer mops finally had to pull the product off the shelves. Italians didn't want convenient: they wanted tough!

I'm sure the survey didn't take into account gay Italians. This gives me yet another reason to be attracted to the dark-skinned, dark-haired beauties...

Mercy!

14 - Honesty

2006-04-25T08:52:00.000-05:00

As I continue to travel the path of a single man, I find that--gay or straight--honesty is considered a trait of immeasureable worth.

I wonder if we want others to be honest because we ourselves are so very dishonest?

My oldest friend called yesterday and said her husband had blacked her eye. The family is supposed to be coming to Memphis this Saturday for a day at the zoo with me, but my friend's husband wants to make sure the eye is healed before I see it. He doesn't know that my friend has already confided the incident.

So...he wants to cover up the punch, she wants to hide the fact that she's told me, and I'm expected to lie about the fact that I know he abused her! ARGH! What I want to say on Saturday, regardless of the condition of her eye is, What provoked you to strike her? Will I? I don't know yet: I've been known to speak my mind when people least expect it.

But the point is this: we spend much of our time deceiving others. It's a wonder we don't get tangled up in our lies more often than we do.

I'm not saying we should be viciously honest--"Why did you get a perm? It look hideous!"--but I wish we could spend more time sharing reality than caretaking ourselves against the displeasure of others' perceived disappointment in us.

Honestly, I do...

13 - Why so exclusive?

2006-04-21T08:47:00.000-05:00

Okay, I admit it. I'm ignorant about why it's so important to make immigrants register properly to live in the United States.

Our ancestors were all immigrants to this country at some point in their flight from other lands. Why do we care if Mexicans share our homeland?

Sure, I know there's some legitimate fears about drug smuggling, but most Latinos just want a better way of life.

The first time I went to San Diego in the spring of 2000, I was completely floored by a sign similar to the one above. Near Tijuana on Interstate 5, drivers must use caution because Mexicans attempt to cross the border by crossing the freeway! This is a sign of desperation and of hope.

I've heard some argue that Latinos take jobs from legal residents. What jobs?!? The Mexicans who work in Memphis are employed as busboys at Cici's Pizza and cashiers at McDonald's--jobs no one else wants!

Regarding their work ethic, this ethnic group work their tails off! How productive we would all be if we worked as hard as they do. Perhaps they do take an afternoon siesta, but the "Wall Street Journal" has had several articles that espouses the benefits of naps to work productivity. Maybe the Latinos are trying to teach us something: I know I'm willing to learn that skill!

Jokes aside, I really appreciate the diversity of America and am more than willing to share my home with my Southern neighbors.

What if millions of immigrants move into America? Well, the landscape might change and policies might have to be amended, but we are not without resources to accomodate this situation.

The problem, as I see it, is that Americans don't want the poor to infiltrate our land. If the immigrants were rich, there would be no issue. However, in the history of America, most of the outsiders who fled to our shores were not society's elite. Why are we making exceptions now?

12 - Of Gullywashers and Lightning Strikes

2006-04-20T08:44:00.000-05:00

I awoke this morning to a very dark room.

It wasn't pre-dawn: it was pre-rain. We had a gullywasher that decided to hit as I drove to work.

I tried to rationalize the rain with the old saying "Big drops, little rain; little drops, big rain," but the drops were all different sizes!

I turned the CD player up and drove carefully as I watched the ground-to-sky lightning strike all around me.

I'm reminded that my thoughts behave like the weather. Most days I'm basking in the sunshine--content with who I am, where I am, and where I'm going. And other days, it's a gullywasher of emotions and lightning strikes of possibilities...

When is the best time to tell my nieces that I'm gay? Should I try my hand at a new job? If so, do I lean toward my previous training (secondary education)? If not, should I learn a new trade (floral design; massage therapy)? Do I need to move to a different city for more opportunities? How will the move affect my relationship to the two little girls who mean so much to me? Should I go to seminary? How many churches hire gay ministers? How would I maintain my house? Should I sell my home? How long would it take to sell it in a down market? Should I call a realtor today?

HA! Surely I'm not the only person around who thinks in overdrive sometimes!

But it's also good to know that tomorrow it will be sunnier and cooler...and life will still be worth living--even when the storms blow in...

11 - Candy Cigarettes

2006-04-19T15:13:00.000-05:00

I went home Sunday to be with my family for Easter after church.

At some point during the day, my older niece Caryn came walking into the kitchen with a memory stuck in her mouth.

Although now labeled as "Candy Sticks" and minus the red dye on the tip of one end of the stick, I was thrown into reverse for a few minutes and relived the days when I would buy a package of candy cigarettes at the local grocery store.

What a difference between growing up in the 1970s and today!

I pondered what current trends we are exposing our youngsters to that one day will have to be reconsidered.

I'd like to hear from you. Can you think of anything that thirty years from now will be taboo but that we presently find harmless? Can you think of any other childhood reminiscences that startle you today?

10 - The Most Wonderful Day of the Year

2006-04-19T10:51:00.000-05:00

Gosh, it's been five days since I posted my last blog! Time flies as I approach 40!

Most people claim Christmas as their favorite holiday: mine is definitely Easter!

The hundreds of different shades of green on the trees, the dogwood blooms, the azalea blossoms, the warm sun—everything quietly screams new life…

I love to see the children dressed in their spring fashions—complete with chocolate smudges. I love to hear the birds volleying for the loudest voice. I love the smell of honeysuckle in the air.

This particular Easter was special because it was my first church service outside the mainline fundamental circle. First Congo had lovely music, a nice sermon, and kind parishioners. But the most meaningful part of the day was Communion. So many outcasts being welcomed to the Table of Grace…including me.

The best part of Easter, however, it the promise of new life in Christ (I sang “Arise” until I was hoarse.) and the promise of eternal life. I hope Easter is one of your favorite days of the year as well…For me, it can’t be beat!

9 - Paid in Full

2006-04-14T21:24:00.000-05:00

"It is finished."

8 - The Most Humbling of Experiences

2006-04-13T10:55:00.000-05:00

Many Christians today focus on the Last Supper and the bitter prayer in the Garden of Gethsamane.

While these events are certainly worth remembrance, I focus today on one of the Lord's most humble acts of servitude--footwashing.

Now some people have pretty feet, but most of us don't. Whether you have abnormally long toes, fungal infections, callouses or bunions, feet can be one of the most unattractive and disgusting parts of the human body.

Oh, yeah...they're necessary, but ugly!

So I find it fascinating that Jesus would kneel at his disciples' dirty feet and bathe them. There was no Clorox to drizzle in the basin (as most germ phobics sterilize with today). No, Christ used His own precious hands--the same hands that broke the bread and poured the wine--to cleanse the feet of the men He loved.

Having participated in a footwashing service, I can certainly relate to how humbling it is to wash someone else's feet. But the most humbling experience of all is being the recipient of the washing.

I remember the first time this happened. I was about 14 years old and was attending a week-long church camp. I was horrified to think that someone was going to wash my feet. You see, I had contracted a fungal disease which made my toenails yellowish-white and crusty. I could hardly bear to look at my own feet: how could I ever shed my shoes for another person to see the disfigurement.

Soon a Black guy came by and asked if he could perform the task. I was mortified, but I relented. I felt so unworthy and yet so accepted. It was one of the most beautiful experiences of my life.

So as you ponder this Maundy Thursday, consider a selfless act you could perform for another person...and not just someone you like. But if you want to experience the fullness of this day of service, choose to receive a gift you know you have no business getting...

7 - The "new man" is gay!

2006-04-12T11:55:00.000-05:00

Colossians 3:9-11 (New International Version)

"Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. Here there is no Greek or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all. "

I was on Peterson Toscano's blog a few days ago and had a revelation about what this particular scripture means to me.

I decided that I must die to the dishonest part of me that attempts to be someone he's not--namely a heterosexual. How difficult is it for me to crucify myself with Christ if I take the easy road of conforming to the patterns of this world--one pattern being that of heterosexual bigotry--just because straight people are uncomfortable with my sexual preferences?

I once heard the argument that no one is really gay--just behavior. Through this line of thinking, I was taught that it was a sin to claim to be gay. "I am a stright man who finds other men attractive. "

This concept was reinforced time after time, but I always felt like I was being dishonest. Now I realize this: I was being dishonest!

I fought most of my life to be someone I wasn't, and it wasn't until I began to accept the "gay" Bob that peace began to permeate my existence.

I don't have to lack integrity to be a gay man (although I will admit that I have not always made the best choices). But the guilt of trying to be someone I am not only perpetuated my drive for immoral behavior. As I settle into my skin, I realize that--minus the shame imposed by others--I can be very content and productive as a gay man who loves Christ.

And this honesty makes life worth living, and death worth dying...

6 - Giving My All

2006-04-12T09:31:00.000-05:00

Mary gave her all. Her act of selfless worship was pure, and it was complete.

Others could not understand her lavish response to a Savior who took away her guilt and shame, but she didn't care what others thought: she only cared for her Master.

Lord, I am not nearly as extravagant with my love for you as Mary was. Show me how to give everything--regardless of cost or personal ridicule.

5 - Behaving Abroad

2006-04-11T16:01:00.000-05:00

Business for Diplomatic Action recently released a list of ways Americans can better behave when traveling outside the States. Besides picking up a few phrases in a foreign language, the BDA says we should also consider the following:

1. Read a map: "Familiarize yourself with the local geography to avoid making insulting mistakes."

2. Dress up: "In some countries, casual dress is a sign of disrespect."

3. Talk small: "Talk about wealth, power, or status can create resentment."

4. No slang: "Even casual profanity is unacceptable."

5. Slow down: "We talk fast, eat fast, move fast, live fast. Many cultures do not."

6. Listen as much as you talk: "Ask people you're visiting about themselves and their way of life."

7. Speak lower and slower: "A loud voice is often perceived as bragging."

8. Religious restraint: In many countries, religion is "not a subject for public discussion."

9. Political restraint: "Steer clear...if someone is attacking US politicians or policies. Agree to disagree."

10. Eye contact: "In Japan it is considered rude to look directly in the eye for more than a few seconds."

11. Gestures: "In Greece an American hand-waving goodbye is an insult."

I think practicing most of these suggestions at home in America might also be very unifying...

4 - Peterson was right: sexuality is a point on the continuum--not just gay, bi, or straight...What's your score?

2006-04-11T15:22:00.000-05:00

Klein Sexual Orientation Grid

I scored an average of 4.33

Heterosexual

Bisexual

Homosexual

Meaning

This result can also be related to the Kinsey Scale:

0 = exclusively heterosexual
1 = predominantly heterosexual, incidentally homosexual
2 = predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual
3 = equally heterosexual and homosexual
4 = predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual
5 = predominantly homosexual, incidentally heterosexual
6 = exclusively homosexual

Summary

The idea of this excercise is to understand exactly how dynamic a person's sexual orientation can be, as well as how fluid it can be over a person's lifespan. While a person's number of actual homo/heterosexual encounters may be easy to categorize, their actual orientation may be completely different. Simple labels like "homosexual", "heterosexual", and "bisexual" need not be the only three options available to us.

Take the quiz: http://www.youthnetsouthampton.org.uk/breakout/kleingrid.php.

3 - Monday of Holy Week

2006-04-10T16:49:00.000-05:00

Our litany at church yesterday said that, on Monday of Holy Week, Jesus chased the money changers out of the Temple to proclaim that God was for everyone--not just the rich and powerful...

Lord, help me to value all people equally and not just the ones I find acceptable. -- BOB

2 - Out & Humble

2006-04-10T16:38:00.000-05:00

Just a word about my personal comments in the sidebar...

I am not opposed to a confident gay. I base my desire to be out and humble entirely upon my emulation of Christ.

I do not believe Jesus would ever label himself "proud." And the most villanous being ever dubbed proud was Satan.

Being pleased with your sexuality is not pride: it is self-acceptance. Pride is considering oneself better than others.

With that, I hope to have defined my space a little better...

1 - Hello...

2006-04-10T15:35:00.000-05:00

I don't really know how to insert a photo into my profile. Perhaps this will at least let you know who is sharing his heart in this blog.

I'm Bob, and this post is really just something to get me started. No pivotal comments, no epiphanal insights, no inner probings...just a simple hello to get things started here...